Admitting you're struggling isn't the same as admitting defeat
One of the hardest things for me to do is to ask for help. I just don't like it. By nature, I’m a helper. I love to help other people, which makes me good at my job. My family loves (for the most part) that I enjoy helping them with their problems and making their life more comfortable. There are a lot of great things about being a helper, but there is also a significant downside.
I prefer to deny my own needs for the sake of others. It may sound good to deny yourself. But this isn’t how we are designed. We were made to be dependent on God and to need His strength and power.
I’m wondering if you can relate to what I'm talking about. Maybe it's easier to deny what you feel instead of being honest about your current struggles. Maybe you’re like me, and it's easier for you to help others than it is to ask for help.
I did one of the scariest things recently. I told a close friend that I was struggling with anxiety. I felt utterly overwhelmed and exhausted. I hated doing this. I don't like admitting that I am struggling. I'm guessing you’re a lot like this too. It's easier to worry about others than it is to be honest about your own struggles.
When you feel anxious, you are likely to want to ignore your anxiety, to push it down so you can push past the negative emotions you’re experiencing and feel better. You may be surprised to know this is like a ticking time bomb. Sure, you are avoiding anxiety at that moment, but the anxiety is only going to build up. It’s like the leftovers you put in the fridge. Over time, you don't even recognize what the food is, and it takes forever to clean out the container.
Instead of avoiding your anxiety, own up to it. You may be afraid to admit you are anxious because it feels like admitting defeat. You may also be afraid to say you’re anxious because you fear you are dooming yourself to an anxious fate. I understand both of these fears, but they aren’t factual and here’s why:
When you specifically state why you have anxiety, the emotional part of your brain called the amygdala calms down. God designed words to have power. When you bravely state “I have anxiety because of ____”, You are no longer avoiding the issue and there's a certain amount of relief that comes from knowing why you are having problems concentrating, difficulty sleeping, or why your mind is racing.
When you identify “I am anxious because of _____”, you then empower yourself to tackle your problems, to ask for help, and to pray for your circumstances specifically. You are no longer letting the leftovers stack up in the refrigerator. Instead, you are being honest. Honesty requires bravery and courage. It's not easy to admit there's an issue. I'd love to keep ignoring my problems. Unfortunately, the problems aren't getting dealt with, which only magnifies the problem.
When you identify, “I'm anxious right now,” you take a little of the power away, put yourself in the present, and set yourself up to deal with what's going on in your life. Give it a try. Practice mindfulness and honesty today. See what difference it makes with your anxious thoughts.
Blessings to you,
Melissa