Parenting Your School-Aged Child Through the Coronavirus Pandemic
Today, my daughter gleefully ran down the stairs and proclaimed, “I have the best news... I found a whole roll of toilet paper in my room.” Toilet paper is no longer just a staple. It’s now a treasured commodity.
Overnight, our world has changed.
Grocery stores are decimated by desperate shoppers. Malls, theaters, and airport terminals are abandoned. We are being asked to self-quarantine and only go out for essentials. If you had told a friend earlier this year that you wanted to practice “social distancing to flatten the curve,” they would have stared at you blankly. But it’s not just our jargon that’s changing— it’s our way of living.
You are no longer just a parent to your child. With schools closed indefinitely, you are now their teacher. In addition to suddenly being thrust into the role of teacher, you’re also acting as their counselor, seeking to help your child process all that is going on while trying to make sense of it yourself. Being a parent always requires wearing multiple hats, but wearing this many hats can be overwhelming
As a parent of two kids, I get it. With a 6th and a 3rd grader of my own, I’m trying to work by day and lesson plan and help my children navigate their fears at night. And all the while, in the back of my mind, I’m wondering when— and if — things will go back to normal.
As we parents seek to help our kids make sense of all that is happening, I want to give you a simple list of how you can help your kids process their emotions. These are things that will help you not only survive this crisis, but also to thrive in the midst of it. I know it’s a scary time right now, but I wholeheartedly believe there is hope and peace in the middle of this storm.
Here are 10 ways to survive this pandemic with school-aged kids:
As best you can, keep to a pre-pandemic schedule. Kids crave routine. A normal routine brings comfort and consistency to a child’s life. This includes their sleep schedule. Getting proper sleep fosters greater emotional balance.
Let go of perfectionistic ideals related to their education. Have them spend 30 minutes reading, 30 minutes moving, and 30 minutes doing math. If they have been assigned curriculum to complete, awesome. But if not, those are the basics for helping your kids avoid the “pandemic slump.”
Ask your kids how they are feeling. Don’t try to gloss over their emotions. Simply validate their experience and then reassure them. Just as you have recurring questions, so will they. Ask them several times a week.
Watch for behavioral changes. They are likely missing their friends, routines, and maybe even their teachers. While it’s never okay to act disrespectfully, instead of jumping to punishing your child, talk about their feelings and appropriate ways to manage their emotions.
Practice self-care. You can’t give what you don’t have. Make sure you are taking breaks when you can. Let the dishes, laundry, or whatever go. Just do the best you can right now.
Pray with your kids. Pray with your spouse. Pray. Our country desperately needs prayer right now. Praying not only connects us to God, but we are also left feeling more peaceful and reassured.
Be creative with finding ways to connect socially. In times of crisis, we want to be around others. Emotional connection with others brings comfort and normalcy. Connect with friends and family via FaceTime, online games, and other creative means.
Know that it’s okay to not be okay right now. It’s okay that you are struggling. You are doing something that no other parent in history has EVER done. It’s okay that you don’t have it figured out.
Go outside. Go for walks, play basketball with your kids, ride your bike, go fishing. While you are outside, focus on the sky, the trees, the flowers. Getting outdoors is great for your mental health; studies show that being outside lowers anxiety and decreases symptoms of depression.
Remember to breathe. Breathing helps regulate the body and calm the autonomic nervous system. Practice this with your kids. Have them sit down and take deep inhales through the nose, then breathe out slowly out through the nose.
You are amazing.
I believe in you and I believe in your parenting abilities. You’ve got this.
Share this with a friend who needs some help and a little encouragement.
With love,
Melissa